the healing process

People are so easily shaped and formed by their surroundings. But sadly, we as humans let the hurts linger more often than the joys that may actually come by more often. We let the hurtful words dwell in our hearts, we let the wrongs that others have done to us sting for far too long, and we refuse to let them go from the firm fist we've created around these painful scars. When we try to do something good, we remember the criticisms and doubts that others have brought up to us. When we move in courage, the hesitation grips us.

Each experience changes us forever. The scars root themselves deep within our fibers and then they get comfortable. We will never be the same, I will never be the same. Healing takes much longer for this reason. The scar is rooted, and it's comfortable. And though we don't know it, we allow it to get comfortable. We internalize it, we remember it, and we cringe in that memory. But it happens. Healing's job is then to go deep where that pain, find the cause of it (which is is hard to do when it's hidden behind all the other junk in yo trunk) and root it out. In that healing process, you must face all the ugliness, all the pain, all that you had forgotten as you let it sink deeper, deeper. Like in surgery, when you're opened up and your rotting/dysfunctional organs are in plain view for all to see. This must happen for there to be a replacement...for there to be a new organ placed inside. This may mean new words of encouragement, it may mean new trust, new understanding, it may mean forgiveness. But as is true in post-surgery recovery, it takes time for that healing process to take full course. It takes time for your new organ to get comfortable, it takes time for this healing to take root within the walls of your body. That's why you must be patient with healing. That's why I need to be patient with this healing...