The excerpt was something that an older sister had sent me to give me perspective on dating and how to be wise when dating. But like you said, men should also expect and look for the same things that the woman in the excerpt mentions. After all, one cannot be "mentally perfect" when only the man is able to hold mentally exciting & challenging conversation. How boring would that be, if one person can't keep up. The same goes for spiritual perfection.
The sense of vulnerability and inferiority that was mentioned, I think that can also be true for women, depending on the dynamics of the relationship. Anyone who doesn't feel quite adequate enough, or as if he/she falls short would grapple with the need for constant approval from their loved one. That fear of rejection, that fear of losing someone you dearly love and have opened yourself up to, that is a scary thing. I think oftentimes we do crazy things to chase away that fear, as we do one thing after another to try, just try, to save ourselves from that rejection. To try and be as secure as we can. When really, nothing can make us completely secure in human love. Because, as it is human, it is inherently flawed.
Relationships, in today's generation, have really strayed from the biblical dynamic of relationships. In the sense that it has become all about "what can you do for me? What can I get from you? What kind of fit are you for me?" PJ's preached on this too, but the fundamental principle of the biblical relationship is the attitude of serving one another. If only we looked at each other, not for what we could take away from that person but if we sought out the ways we could serve them with our love, instead. If only we both were both prone to give instead of always taking. If only we saw each other as precious sons and daughters of Christ, children shaped into the image of our God, would we still treat each other's words, emotions, time, money so carelessly?
From my personal experience though, even this fails to fulfill every longing of my heart. Ultimately, human love is flawed and insufficient because in the end we weren't made for each other but we were made for a perfect God who loves, waits, and longs to be the one who meets and provides for our needs. To learn and know what it means to pursue Him first and foremost...that's what I'm struggling to do. It's not that easy in a world of movies and love stories that paint the perfect date and the ideal relationship. But that's the battle...
its time for a change in our generation. its time for the church to initiate.
ReplyDeleteIt was nice to read this response Rachel =). I definitely agree, and have also come to learn that relationships, and just people in general, can never fully satisfy.
ReplyDeleteI've been struggling with being accepted and feeling a part of a community the past year. It's definitely tough. Friendship seems like such a simple thing, but it's kind of crazy to think about how complex it really is! The different levels of friendship, how to approach a relationship, and especially marriage! Ahh there's so much haha. PJ's messages have really opened my eyes, and I've been really interested in marriage as well as how to raise kids. Haha maybe it's weird for me to say that, but for some reason it's just a topic I really like learning and thinking about.
I believe that man cannot replace God, but I also believe that God cannot completely replace man. God created us for relationship instead of just keeping us to Himself, and ever since college.. learning how to form and maintain relationships has been a huge part of my growing-up.
Haha this topic can be talked about forever =P. Have you ever heard of Matt Chandler? Joey first introduced me to him. I HIGHLY recommend listening to his series on "The Role of Men". I've listened to the 3 sermons probably at least 3-4 times, sharing it with friends and even listening to it together with my ex-girlfriend.
http://hv.thevillagechurch.net/resource_files/audio/20070819BA01S_MattChandler_TheRoleOfMenPt2-MenAsHusbands.mp3
This one is titled "Men has Husbands". It definitely taught me a lot and have turned back to it multiple times. You can skip the first 9:30 because he's just talking about their church growth, though I like listening to it because it shows how much he really engages with his congregation as a pastor. If you have time, I'd really recommend it! Gives a lot to think about, even though you're not the guy but he talks a lot about biblical principles in marriage. If you do, let me know what you think!