In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question,
"What kind of man are you looking for?"
She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking "Do you really want to know?" Reluctantly, he said "Yes.".
She began to expound..." As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can't do for myself. I pay my own bills. I take care of my household with out the help of any man...or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask "What can you bring to the table?" The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money. She quickly corrected his thought and stated "I am not referring to money. I need something more. I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life."
He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain. She said, "I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection mentally because I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don't need a simple minded man. I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked...believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster. I need a man who is striving for perfection financially because I don't need a financial burden. I am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman but strong enough to keep me grounded. I am looking for someone who I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive...he just has to be worthy. God made woman to be a help mate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself."
When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said "You are asking a lot."
She replied, "I'm worth a lot."
true that. there are more worthy girls than able guys in this generation...
ReplyDeleteI liked reading this excerpt, but maybe it's because I'm a guy... I had to comment =P. I don't disagree with what she's looking for or her thinking in general, but from what I've learned through personal experience, and just life in general... some thoughts:
ReplyDeleteI think everything said by woman could have just as well come from a man. I know the submission part is a little different, but of course guys submit to their wives in their own way.
With that in mind, the excerpt makes it out to be that a relationship is about a guy proving himself and showing he is worthy and capable enough to give her what the woman thinks she deserves. From personal experience, I know it can make a guy feel inadequate, extremely vulnerable, and the worst of all, inferior because he tries to get any signs of approval from her. I agree with the concept that a girl needs to guard her heart, I believe a relationship should be more mutual in this aspect when two people actually move from dating into a relationship. I think a better sense of mutual respect and compassion for one another is developed when both become vulnerable together and try to provide for each other in the way this excerpt talks about together.
Living in modern society has pretty much embedded what dating looks like in our minds - that a guy chases the girl. I think if our point of view on dating was solely biblical - as the woman points out, God made woman to be man's helper - I think a lot of dynamics of courtship would change, but of course that's a debatable topic.
When you think about it, when a guy first starts pursuing a girl and she has this mindset of essentially evaluating him to see if he's got what she's looking for - there's another side to keep in mind. How does the guy know she's right for him? I think he deserves what she wants equally, if not more if you bring up the helper aspect. If the focus of the relationship is him proving himself to her, there's little room left for the guy's needs. I mean, of course she probably won't be cold to him or anything, but I know what it's like when your needs aren't anywhere near of the same importance as hers.
Haha I'm not saying you don't believe in these things. Obviously I don't know much at all about your, or anyone's perspective on dating! Reading this entry just brought some thoughts and memories back and so I wanted to add my thoughts just for heck of it. I just felt that this woman's thoughts standing alone are a little skewed, that's all =P.
Calvin,
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting and sharing your thoughts with me! I definitely agree with you on the points you shared and it challenged me to think about it more in depth too.
-Rachel